Letter to the Letter to the Editor

I was reading the Province newspaper at my favourite soup and sandwich place today when I read a very interesting letter to the editor. Interesting in the negative sense of the word.

Cartoonist Dan Murphy has every right to make fun of the Queen as a freeloader, with zero relevance to Canada.

Such anti-monarchy sentiment is increasing as Canada chooses to sever all ties with Britain. Perhaps B.C. should drop the “British” from its name, and look for allegiance elsewhere? Perhaps China — a one-party dictatorship — is a better alternative?

John Clench, Vancouver

Hmm... I'm not sure if it's my Scottish heritage speaking, but I've never seen much use for an un-beheaded monarch. (Note that I am being flippant. I don't want to see any people die. I just want us all to not care about someone whose parents did the Royal Whee. I put royalty into the same box as slavery, subjugation of women, and golf: ideas that are terrible yet terribly resilient.)

Royals: A Little Home Away From Home

Let's move past the first sentence since it's strikingly sane. Possibly it's meant to be sarcasm. I enjoy sarcasm and I find it to be extra-funny when it doubles back on the person who's attempting it.

While my sentiment runs toward anti-monarchy, I have no intention of severing ties with Britain. I think this points to one of the problems with monarchy - having a single person represent an entire nation. There are about 60 million people in Great Britain, only one of whom is Queen Elizabeth. Why is anti-monarchy being associated with severing ties with the 59,999,999 other people?

These peoples' parents weren't royal while humping

The rest is just completely batty, and a sign of a mind corrupted by the kind of thinking that leads to monarchs in the first place. If we "drop allegiance" to a group of people who have a long history of inbreeding and pointless leadership, we don't need to replace it with some other allegiance. Bob Dylan was wrong. You don't "gotta serve somebody." And even if we did, why is China the sole other option? If we need to bow and scrape before our betters, why not go for Hawaii? They're much more pleasant islands. Restore the Monarchy!

Seriously, what kind of person expects other people to bow to them? That's just creepy. I'll golf before I ever willingly bow to anyone.