Sunday, September 25, 2011

There's a Market for Anything

Hello!

It took me by surprise at first, because I couldn't even imagine it would be desired, let alone popular enough for an entire product line. But as time went by, it became increasingly clear that Cottonelle toilet paper must be specifically designed to allow a finger through. Either that or they've failed rather spectacularly to make a useful toilet paper. But let's give them the benefit of the doubt. Let's assume that there is enough demand for a TP that includes a high likelihood of a surprise connection between fingertip and sphincter that such a product would be on the market and available wherever normal alternatives can be found.

It puts me in mind of a Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson quote from an old Stuff or Maxim magazine. This is from memory; I no longer have access to the magazine and I can't find the quote online.

I still maintain that the best piece of ass I ever had was when my finger went through the paper.

Maybe Cottonelle can work out a sponsorship agreement with him.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Blog Blogger Bloggest

Way back in the dim, dark history of websites I started to make them. I wasn't very good at it at first, but nobody is and few people ever got to be exceptional. There just weren't many good ways to make websites look good at first, especially with the number of differences between browsers and at first there was no such thing as a WYSIWYG editor. I think, actually, Mozilla had a simpe editor but it wasn't particularly good for much more than very simple things.

Along came Dreamweaver. It was - supposedly - powerful and excellent. I got a copy for work. I hated it.

Here's how it changed my workflow: I used to code pages by hand in a simple text editor. But Dreamweaver allowed me to use a visual editor to almost make the web pages I wanted. After I made each one I needed to make changes by hand so I would wade through oceans of pointless, confusing and distracting gibberish and often simply give up and go back to the text editor.

So really it added time (and frustration) to my workflow. I stopped using it and haven't gone back to anything like it since. That was in about 1998. I still use a text editor. In fact, I'm writing in one now!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Heroes of Pulp Fiction

Adventure Comics #372

When I was just a little kid, I read the comics that my oldest brother inherited from our even older cousins. I didn’t choose anything; I just read whatever was available. Mostly these were DC’s Adventure Comics from the late 60s featuring Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes. Superboy, you see, would travel 1000 years into the future to fight evil villains with a great big group of teen heroes who had all been inspired by his own legendary self. They were colourful and campy, filled with teenage drama and science fiction. In other words, perfect!

The concept of artists and authors being responsible for these works never occurred to me. There were just the stories and the characters, and that was good enough for me.